28.10.14

| Thoughts | I Don't Get It



The internet is swarming with bits of dubious advice. Little throwaway comments that shouldn't be taken to heart, yet people do exactly that don't they?

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT is one of the most annoying for me. 

What is wrong with good old honesty? I've always stuck to the view that it is better to be humble, honest and prepared to work my socks off till I learn what I need to and have all I need to achieve a goal.

Maybe it is because I dislike having the word FAKE anywhere near my sense of achievement that this saying irks me so much. 

Am I missing something? Are you faking it till you make it? Is it working for you? 

21 comments:

  1. In my humble opinion (I'm also a bit young, so my interpretation could be a bit off), I have come to believe that "fake it till you make it" springs not from the integrity of your own character, but from the negative consequences of others when they know that you lack something. I, like you, think that it's better to be honest and humble, and that there is no shame in not knowing so long as you are willing to learn. But apparently, based on my own experiences, most people do not respond well to this humble honesty. People see it as weakness. And anyone who has it in them to take advantage of others will indeed take advantage of people like that, people who "show weakness." The ramifications of this misinterpretation are condescending comments, bossy demeanor, or anything along the lines of that. And while we know that we're not being weak and we know that we're just being humble, the next question is: how much are you able to put up with the way they will treat us because of their misinterpretation? Because first impressions are stubbornly long lasting.
    So the "fake it till you make it," at least as I have come to see it, is to avoid a situation like this. To fend off possible attacks from people who, unlike you and me, won't appreciate such passive humility. People who would react negatively to it and pounce on you like prey because of it.
    I don't know why people are like that, or rather, why we aren't like that. Perhaps culture has something to do with it as well. And then there's just luck of the draw to see what kind of people you bump into!

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  2. now i feel angry too! i know what you mean and you said it very well. most of the time I find myself really, really good at being ignorant because we can't have everything goes the way we want it, but sometimes, just gotta let it out too. hang in there! x

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  3. I like it for when I'm going through a hard time, actually. I've never really thought of it in the sense of pretending you know what you're doing, but more projecting confidence when everything sucks (for example, while job hunting), because sometimes it's really easy to feel awful about things like a long period of un/underemployment and that mindset can just make the whole thing worse - feel terrible about yourself, prospective employers can feel your negativity, you don't get anywhere. It's not a cure-all, but it's not bad as a reminder while job hunting. (Can you tell what I'm up to atm? :P)


    I love Airi's interpretation too, because people can be utter prats about things.


    x Nicole Isabella

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  4. I prefer honesty and hard work. I think some interpret 'fake in until you make it' in the sense of creating hype or drama about themselves to draw more attention to themselves, which I don't mind much. It's more like saying you want to know me because I am something big, like having a great deal of confidence, that I don't mind really. But, if you give achievements or such things, they should be honest ones :) xx

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  5. oh my goodness. i am so with you yasumi. i have known so many people who put up a front .. "faked it" because they didn't want to come off as not knowing. these are always people in director positions and it would be so blatantly apparent that they were talking out of the ass but they just faked it with confidence that was just too much. i think this had a really bad impact on me though because i didn't ever want to be perceived that way and so people began to see me as not confident or not knowing what i'm doing -- some people.. most people take honesty and being humble as having no confidence and not trustworthy as a go getter. it drives me insane when i meet people like this in the workforce.

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  6. pfft i know right, just don't cut corners, you never feel good about it. unless it's a easier/simplier way to achive the same goals but done in an honest way. cheat and there's no sense of accomplishment, where's the fun in that?

    Buckets & Spades

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  7. The internet isn't very smart so I don't often listen to it ;). As for this saying, I'd say the positive message is to keep trying until you master a skill. I'd say the negative message is try to just "get by" and you can do that indefinitely until you've "made it". But really, no one ever "makes it" right? We all are imperfect and nothing we do is flawless.

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  8. I first heard this phrase in a yoga class years ago and it irked me. Particularly in a yoga practise, where the goal is progress and not perfection, I see no reason to need to fake anything - make a genuine effort and, if the result is failure, learn from your mistake, work harder next time and you're likely to succeed. But then again, I think you know me enough to know I am constitutionally incapable of faking anything. The truth always escapes me, even when I least want it to ;)
    xox,
    Cee

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  9. I completely understand where you are coming from Airi. I have been there. Where people take my humbleness and honesty as a reason to attempt to walk over me. But...I have learned to stick to my guns so much so that no matter how much my views are challenged on my principals I WILL NOT COMPROMISE. This can either be seen as severe obstinacy or a curious sort of strength I guess? I have also found that through honesty I have gained trust from people and that it so valuable to me that I find it easier to ignore people to react negatively to my refusal to blow a fake trumpet.


    I love hear your views Airi. You are such a strong person!!

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  10. Hello Nicole! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and bring some added light to the conversation.


    I completely get where you are coming from with your take on the saying and I love how you have made it seem so much more positive than I ever thought.


    I remember when I was looking for my 1st job in London. I applied for a role that I was sorely under qualified for but decided to apply because it was connected to East Africa and I have such a deep love for the area. I went to the interview and was honest and disclosed that I have very little experience but what I don't know - I can learn and would work hard to learn. I spoke about the area with so much passion and did my best to convey my enthusiasm for the role, the company, the opportunities etc. Much to my shock - I was offered the job! Even more surprisingly I was offered the job over graduates and people far more qualified and experienced than I. I learned that I was offered the job because I had something they didn't - Passion and enthusiasm. I was told that you can learn a lot of things in life but to be naturally passionate about something an have the enthusiasm to learn - that you cannot learn - that you have to already have inside you.


    I know that I may just have got very lucky in finding like-minded people who could see through the big self promo talk. However, I really believe that you just have to believe in your abilities and just go for it. Be yourself because that is the BEST bit about you!!

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  11. I agree Kizzy. I suppose that is why we have all these celebs which I dont even know what they are famous for? Hype and drama and the great big media machine?

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  12. Thank you for commenting Jane. It irks me too. And it sounds like you are a really good listener because most people don't really listen and so buy into the self-hype of certain individuals. Don't you find that by listening - you realise that people really give themselves away? Sometimes when I listen to these type of people I think - is anyone else wondering what the eff you are talking about too? I look around and nope....it's usually just me looking puzzled.

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  13. That's such a good point Matthew! How does it make you feel? It must mess with your sense of accomplishment no? But I know people who relish in cutting corners. Speed over quality - I have a feeling I know how you feel about that too!

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  14. I like your way of thinking Lisa - the learning and the "making" never ends. I think striving to learn and experience more is so important!

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  15. I can see where you're coming from. I can't do it either, it just feels so dishonest and totally out of character for me. Also, I think that you can really notice it when someone is faking it and isn't being truthful. There's nothing wrong with letting your own imperfection show, I believe that imperfections are what make individuals authentic, interesting and even beautiful.

    Since we're speaking of pet peeve internet wisdom quotes, mine is "Do what you love". Career-wise doing what you love is not for everyone and I see a lot of people (myself included) feeling like they failed at life because they're 'only' doing a desk job for some big corp and not leading the eclectic life based on their passions. This quote just makes it sound so easy while in fact it's a lot of hard work and for every visible success there are probably ten failures.

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  16. I never thought of "fake" it as really faking it, but I can see why it can be interpreted that way. The "fake it till you make it" that I "know" is more along the definition of Nicole Isabella, in that sometimes, we forget that we are already good inside or we are enough just as we are. When hard things happen in life, we tend to adopt negative point of view while forgetting who we really are (the abilities that we have, the experiences, the enthusiasm -- just like what you shared below about your first job), so maybe faking it means more like choosing to adopt the mindset that we believe who we really are, even though we don't feel so good. Much like putting on makeup and dressing your best-self, even though you are not feeling well/catching a bad cold. I think the word "fake" has so much negative connotation attached to it. Maybe we should say it as, "mindfully choosing it till you make it" but of course it is not as catchy.

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  17. It's reassuring that I am not the only person who heard this and thought...no! I like your way of thinking Cee and I think that being grounded is so important in life!

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  18. Hahahahaa!! Kristien!! You are so right. DO WHAT YOU LOVE - is so idealistic and unrealistic. So few people can make a living from doing what they love. I LOVE sleeping but somehow I don't think anyone would pay me to make a career out of it :) We have to give meaning to what we do despite a job being a means to an end and I think this quote is so unhelpful for real life struggles. Thanks for giving me more to think about!

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  19. Airi you know those people that step over weak people? Because they are inferior inside - so don't feel bad for yourself, instead, be sorry for these people feel bad about themselves.

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