| Thoughts | I Don't Want To Be That Person

I think people care too much about what others think. I suppose it is not really a bad thing.

However, when it begins to take hold of your life and master its course, that's when things need to change surely?

I was thinking to myself the other day. I was thinking that I don't want to be that person who towards their twilight years regrets and laments not doing so many things in life for fear of the judgement and opinion of others. To me this is sort of very much like cheating yourself out of living. That is too sad.

It may seem that words come easy to me in my saying all this but they don't. Not really. I had to learn the hard way. I spent my teenage years trying so hard to please certain people around me. Yet at the same time, I was reckless and innately rebellious/free spirited. A destructive mix that meant I spent too long messing up and then trying desperately to atone for my "errors" and redeem myself. My naivety was boundless and the circle I allowed myself to be captured within so vicious that I very nearly broke myself (quite literally). Then, just as things went too far, I accepted that I could never be happy living that way. And so having lost my childhood, I slowly, painfully, bravely, begun to grow a life that I dreamed of having. 

I think allowing yourself to be yourself, truly yourself without seeking the approval of others is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Because you see, those that really love and care about you will always do just that and they are the best people for advice along the way. This is one of the biggest things that I have learned from my life.

"The greatest cage that we build for ourselves is created from our fear of what others think about us."


  1. this is such a great post yasumi. i too spent many years caring too much about what people thought about me. i think it made it worse because i was surrounded by critical people who was always criticizing others and it made me insecure and made me think "i wonder if they say this about me when i'm not around." and so because of this fear i was constantly doing things and wondering if i was doing the right thing in others' eyes. i've gotten away from all that but i still find myself wondering what people think. it's such a hard thing to strike a balance right?

  2. This is a topic that I think I could reflect upon for hours, even days. I have been stubbornly my own person since I was very young, and the only person I ever sought approval from was my mum. As far as anyone else is concerned, it simply never mattered to me. This means, in the positive side of things, that I never hesitate to go after what I want for fear of what others might say. But, on the negative side, it means I face a lot of judgement day-to-day from the people around me to struggle to understand why I choose to do the things I do, particularly when the way I live my life deviates so much from the go to school-get good job-get married-have babies norm. The result of which, unfortunately, only makes me dig my heels in more. Like I said, I'm stubborn. But would I change that? Never. Better to live a life that makes you happy, even if it never pleases anyone else, I think.

  3. I have these thoughts in my mind every now and then, and it's true that we should never seek for approval from others, although I think it's probably just human nature. We always, always have to learn the hard way. Either that, or people just get ignorant and keep doing whatever they're used to. I love your writing xx

    sharon @ shasummerwine.

  4. this makes me think! I do worry a little too much what people think of me but I have to say I was much much worse when I was younger, I guess growing up helps me to focus on better things and not worrying about other people as much. great post!

    Katrina Sophia Blog

  5. Beautiful words! And I completely agree. I was trying to tell my little (16 year old) sister yesterday that she should wear what SHE feels great in, not what she thinks others would think is great. I guess at that age it's difficult to understand what is important.

  6. This is really true doll, we need to be ourselves and not apologise for when we are. I spent my years growing up pretty much the same as you...and I try to make up for it now. Being hwo we are is like a gift to the world, because no one is like us, we are made uniquely and we should appreciate that. I also find that when people have similarities, you get people who think they should always be the same, like if you like blue & I like blue, then we should wear blue together and be like in our own 'unique' group, but I think the term unique is mis0used there. I find this a lot on blogs and in life. We want to be different, yet we at the same time want people around that like and look the same as ourselves. I prefer the opposite, I like everyone to look as themselves however different it may be and not feel bad for it, but proud. Don't put yourself in a box, but be open to all things, even if you end up not liking it, it's ok. Be who you are at any point in time and give no apoligies for it, because differences are awesome, we can learn from them and grow :))) The only person you need to be better than is the one you were the day before!! Run your own race :))) xx

  7. I've missed you!!!! I haven't been able to read/comment as I usually do, but you always pop into my mind. I love that you are who you are. It's taken the birth of my daughter to just not give a damn what others think & I am so HAPPY. I truly don't think I have ever felt this kind of happiness and freedom..ever. I wish you the same!


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