9.11.10

Crap Daddy


After much ummming and hmmmmming I have decided to go public with this post. I thought that I might inspire some one, some how in some way so here we go....


My father has always been a ghost in my life. His absenteeism became
more and more frequent after my younger sister was born and then escalated into big fat nothingness.


I don't care much about him not being around when we needed him. I got used to not seeing him for months and months on end. I even got my head around the fact that it is plain to see that he never knew what the eff to do with me. Me, being the kid that wanted to be just like him, that used to follow him around the place and look up to him like he was god!
What does get my blood to boiling point is that he didn't teach me any Japanese!! What's with that? Surely that is my birth right?



Anyhoo after much excuse making, life dramas a plenty and marrying a Japanese man I have pulled my socks up and rolled up my sleeves and got stuck in to Japanese lessons. I have my next 3 years mapped out with enough classes to make me see double. I have support coming at me from all angles and I don't intend to let myself down.

I don't just want to get by in Japanese! I want to be able to have full command of a varied and articulate vocabulary. I will not stop until it matches my level of spoken English! grrrrrrrrrr


Pencils at the ready!!

I no longer want to be that half Japanese girl that cannot speak her own father tongue.

When I am done with my study books, lessons and practising I will find my dad and talk to him in Japanese and then he cannot hide behind the language barrier.

Now pardon me while I stomp off and sit in the corner with my arms firmly crossed.

28 comments:

  1. Big hug to you my very dear, and much respect...

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  2. you astound me and inspire me!!! I'm floating (albeit, very very wearily and scared) in the same boat, i cannot speak my mother tongue Cantonese as of yet.... perhaps one day!! I hope to stop making excuses one day and take a page out of your book and look back one day, all wrinkled and grey thinking, "Gosh, i'm glad i done that for myself!" xxxxx

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  3. I am the half Japanese girl that cannot speak her own father tongue and I don't mind, nope not one bit. He wasn't my father, he just copulated with Mama and had us, but he was never nor he is a father and that's fine

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  4. You are brave, and truly intelligent to see your situation in the way that gives way to the most possibilities for growth to you.

    Good luck with everything! and the Japanese lessons!

    Ann

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  5. i love your determination to master the language. i wish i had that in me!! gdluck

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  6. *hugs*

    IT's a bit weird really. My parents never tried to teach us Filipino, but the cultural practices and foods have been so engrained in my life that I don't think much of it - until I meet someone who goes 'OH, you were born here [in Canada] weren't you?' when I confess to not speaking it. THat's about the only time I feel self-conscious.

    Good luck in your quest!! I need something to kick me in the bum to work on my Japanese - it's a slow go right now, haha.

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  7. You are truly an inspiration, I love your determination and braveness! :)
    Good luck, you'll break through those barriers in no time :D xxxx

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  8. Ganbatte! I'm sure you can do it! Your post has inspired me to try to start studying Japanese again!

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  9. You go girl! woot!! I'm sure you'll pick it up very quickly! :D Keeps us updated too. goodluck!!

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  10. Gambare! To be honest, all the Japanese dads I know are a bit useless, including mine. Generational thing perhaps? Or maybe it's the guys that left Japan around that time?

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  11. Will you decide to take classes to help you? My friend recently enrolled at Westminster Uni! Good luck! I find Japanese much more difficult compared to Korean... Hope you still remember me!

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  12. @ Hannaduong!! ARE YOU MAD?? I CAN NEVER FORGET YOU!!

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  13. Go girl. You show him just what he has missed out on. Silly daddy. Xxxx

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  14. I am the 1/4 Japanese girl that can't speak Japanese. My dad can't speak it either because his dad wasn't even aware of his existence. It's odd to think about how I possibly have blood relatives in Japan that I don't know about and they don't know me.
    Luckily I have the boy to depend on for the language problem.
    Best of luck to you on your studies!

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  15. I really relate to this post lady!
    Good on you for having the determination to learn Japenese on your own ;)

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  16. what can I say? You are simply one of the most admirable people I have had the pleasure to come across :)

    xoxo

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  17. Good luck with it, I wish you all the best!

    I'm Punjabi and my parents have always spoken it around me and I'm truly fluent in it (not showing off!) and I couldn't imagine how difficult it would be for me to learn it from scratch now so more power to you

    xx

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  18. I feel ya, hun! My Japanese-American daddy is awesome (he suffered through my ballet recitals) but he doesn't know enough about his own culture to share it with me! These things happen when a Japanese family has lived in California for 100 years, I suppose, but I'm hoping to learn the language and pass it down to the next generation. Good luck with your studies!

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  19. I find it very admirable that you are so determined to learn Japanese. Most people would have given up or not even have bothered. It takes a lot of gusto to pick up a new language. Although I speak the Japanese myself (poorly I might add), I never learned to read or write and I'm finally starting to realize how much I'm missing out on. I've actually been interviewing for a few Japanese companies here in the States and none of them give me the time of day lol....Learn it when you can :)

    PS sorry for not commenting lately. I know it's been a while. Hope all is well darlin! Btw u still have a FB account?

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  20. Join the club! Ganbare! It's a complex language so you're brave to take it on by the horns like that. I felt moved when you mentioned your dad...I think he would be proud of you if he knew...

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  21. *hugs*
    My family raised me by only speaking spanish to me till I was 5 since they figured I would learn English in school. I learned English and somehow most of the Spanish went out the window. I can have a basic conversation with someone in Spanish & I understand 100% (with some exceptions since there are so many different versions of Spanish), but writing it is totally out of the question for me.

    I would really love to learn more Spanish, especially before I have children.

    I'm so proud of you.

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  22. I'm half Singaporean and half Korean and my Mandarin / Korean are only basic since I mostly lived in Australia! My husband is Chinese which has made learning the language much faster I must say.

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  23. I'm not Japanese but I am bilingual...I speak fluent Tagalog and English. And right now I am learning how to speak and write properly in Spanish ^^ and when I could speak Spanish fluent...I want to learn how to speak, read, and write in Japanese next or someday :) anyway, I know it's a lot of work (learning any new languages) but with your determination you will learn it (Japanese) really fast! Good luck!

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  24. 頑張ってください!

    even if i am married to a japanese guy and living in japan... it cant even motivate me. although i'd like to take class next yr.. we shall see.

    i have the same textbook as you... is it but it's dry ...

    i admire your motivation. good luck!

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  25. Very good for you! Wishing you success in your studies. x

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  26. GOOD LUCK!! i wish i was as fastidious in my studies as you are. i used to know japanese (very fluently) when i was younger; i translated what my grandmother (my mom's, the only one i knew) said to my father. i was SO good at japanese. then when she passed away, i no longer really had anyone to talk to, my father felt left out of conversations if they're in japanese (and he still does today even though i no longer speak). i went to school which only spoke english so my japanese slowly faded away. it's quite sad :\

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  27. oddly enough, both of my parents are Filipino and never really taught me or my younger brother much Tagalog while growing up (and we're first generation Filipino-American)...my two older brothers know MUCH more, with my oldest brother holding long conversations with them in Tagalog, and I only pick up bits and pieces of the conversation. It's one of the languages I really want to learn, as well as brushing up on my Spanish - I was fluent in Spanish before I finished college, even writing essays in Spanish for class!

    Wishing you well in your studies - Japanese is a difficult language to learn, especially with all the different characters and pronunciation, but I know you're always eager to learn something new :) and you can practice your Japanese on Hiro!

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